If you are reading this maybe you too have had a spiritual awakening in this year, 2018. In the Christian Church, they call 2018 “the year of the door.” They go back and pull from their supposed roots, Judaism, and use the Jewish year 5778. They talk about the meaning of the numbers and somehow come up with 2018 being the year of the door. The significance of the year of the door is what? They never really say what except that God and Satan are battling it out and just keep on fighting in prayer because God is going to give you double and he is going to bring recompense. The church has been praying for revival and is also announcing a great awakening. I don’t think they were expecting the awakening to be parishioners leaving the church.
I think my spiritual awakening began in 2010 when I woke up and decided that I was fat enough and I somehow found myself doing a year of juice fasting and clean eating. I went from 205 lbs to 147 lbs in 12 months. The illnesses I struggled with, fatigue, pain, inflammation, and weakness was mostly healed from the diet change. I began eating mostly organic food at home and cut my carbs down and quit eating so many processed foods. I began to eat more fruit and vegetables and once again cared about my health.
Fast forward to March 2015 where I had a near death experience. I found myself extremely ill with fibroids and ended up needing 3 blood transfusions and then an emergency hysterectomy. This health crisis caused me to be disabled for nearly 3 months. The emotional impact of being disabled was incredibly life-changing. By January 2016 I knew there was more to life than being a part of this matrix we call life. I quit my job. I didn’t give two weeks notice but the universe aligned things just right that it was the perfect timing for me to quit with no notice as I had just given away my caseload and would only be sitting in the office with not much to do the first two weeks of the new year. I went in early before anyone arrived and set my laptop, tablet, and iPhone on my manager’s chair. I gently placed my resignation letter front and center on her desk. I have never spoken to the company since.
I ended up taking 2 months off and didn’t even look for a job. I just rested. March of 2016 I began applying for jobs and within 2 weeks had myself a job as a merchandiser for the county grocery stores. It was still high stress as I was limited on time at each store and I still had to think but it wasn’t like my marketing job where I had lots of people counting on me to come through to meet my goals. Somehow in the waking up at the ungodly hours of 3am I managed to push through, and do the job knowing somewhere deep inside that this job was temporary.
August 2016 the job ended and I found myself as a caregiver for a disabled young adult woman. I mostly worked afternoons and evenings so this gave me until 1:30pm every day to do my own thing. I received some unexpected money in the mail during spring and decided that with this time on my hands I could finally attend Bible College just like I always wanted to. I attended for 2 semesters and then felt called to drop out by God. So being the obedient Christian that I was I dropped out thinking I was returning.
Having dropped out March 2017 I began playing around with YouTube, blogging, self-publishing, Instagram and learning how to edit photos and videos. I no longer had homework to do before going to work in the afternoons so I spent my time learning. It had been impressed upon me since 2013 that I wanted a YouTube channel but at that time I barely even knew what YouTube was. I now had my own channel that I was using as a test and I would talk about my health journey as I became vegan in January 2017. I would also do videos on my Christian walk……until…..I leveled up in my spiritual awakening…..
April 27th, 2018 I woke up one day and typed into the Google search bar….my issue with Paul. Up to this point, I had always gone after God 100% doing everything that I could to be pleasing to God. I sought him with all of my heart and my life had become very isolating. Having been a church attending Christian now for 19 years I could look back and see how things didn’t add up. On April 27th I discovered in my Google search there were two gospels being taught in the New Testament. One by Jesus and one by the Apostle Paul. Having come out of the deliverance ministry within the walls of the Foursquare Pentecostal Church I knew I followed the gospel of Jesus. I was all about my identity in Christ, and Romans 12:2 (be not conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind), and casting out demons and using my God-given authority.
This double gospel thing really got me to dig and I dug my way out of Christianity straight into Judaism. I camped in Judaism for a couple of months and joined a facebook group and followed a bunch of rabi’s but I found Judaism to be filled with just as many holes as Christianity. While in Judaism I was asking really hard questions that no one wanted to answer. I would ask about heaven, hell, the holy spirit, what exactly was I experiencing as a Christian while casting out demons and doing deliverance? What is this Holy Spirit feeling that I feel tangibly?
No one could give me an answer to satisfy my need to know the truth. I dove into the Zohar and Kabbalah and got reprimanded by everyone. A few people reached out privately and gave me some good info that helped a lot. It still didn’t set right as a truth that I was willing to put faith into. I just spent 48 years, my whole life believing in Jesus, 19 of them in the church seeking the truth. I wasn’t about to jump into Judaism and find out in 20 years it was a lie also. So I dug and dug with desperation all the while crying out to God asking him for truth.
I eventually felt exhausted and depressed and just laid it all down. I quit praying in tongues and quit praying in Jesus name, finally ending with just speaking and declaring without prayer or God at all. I began a test.
When I would pray over my dog’s food each day I would always feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. When I stopped using the name of Jesus and quit praying to God but instead spoke over the food healing, I still felt what I had deemed the Holy Spirit. How can this be? What is this feeling then that I have always felt in prayer? This went on for months without an answer and only led to more questions.
In July I met up with one of my cousins at a family reunion in Montana and we chatted for several hours. Then after I was back home in Washington we talked on the phone. We now text YouTube videos back and forth and I finally have someone on this journey to discover real truth with. Everything I was feeling God had shown me, God has shown my cousin too. Stay tuned as I begin to shift my blog towards the direction of Spiritual Awakening and the real truth of the universe as we enter into a new season, the age of Aquarius.
If there are so many lies in politics, education, media, entertainment what makes us think that they haven’t corrupted the religious system as well.